Guide for the perplexed

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I've been married for ten years, and something happened today that made me think about choosing the right girl so that you will make a happy family with happy children.

After ten years of experience in marriage, and knowing friends who have married happily, survive unhappily and divorced happily- I ask myself, what would I do if I went looking for the right girl.

1. Looks are important.

Most of us don't acknowledge it, but physical attraction is important. You must be, to be blunt about it, aroused by the girl, though truth is, most of us will be aroused by more or less anybody. But a few of us are finicky about this, and if you are particular about getting the right girl, for heaven's sake- go for the girl you find physically attractive. If everything else fails in your marriage, this will survive- and it is enough motivation to keep being married.

I am not sexist, so I won't say that physical beauty is everything- if you like her voice, even that is a good pointer- eyes may fail, and nose not get into the act- but keep your ears open.

2. Don't try to find happiness through marriage.

Because you will fail- happiness is something innate to what we are. No one can take it away, or make us more happy. We have a baseline level of happiness/ unhappiness, and we should be aware of that. So, don't ask to be more happy through the girl- instead, think what kind of environment you want to create in your family, and ask whether this girl will help you do that.

3. Be sneaky- look at her childhood photos, especially school albums.

There is an interesting finding that people who are happy as children are happy as adults, and childhood photos are good pointers of that. So, while you can't make anyone more happy or unhappy, and there is no way anyone will give you more happiness or unhappiness- if you make the right choice, you get the chance to live with a happy girl, but whether you will enjoy that or not depends on what sort of a person you are.

There are more, but depending upon the response I get, I will tell all or quit this subject and return to stuff like The Reason Why Obama Got Nobel Prize.