Consider love: people want their companions to be kind and courteous, but only towards themselves- they hate this when this goodness extends to strangers:
""Both sexes preferred very high levels of kindness and trustworthiness only when considering behaviors directed toward self or close friends and family, and much lower levels of these traits when considering behaviors directed toward other classes of individuals. In fact, people may actively prefer that their partners not be too kind or too trustworthy toward people who are not companions, friends, or family…."
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