A Swiftean Moment- A Ghoulish Post

I read this wonderful book, ("Stiff- The Curious Lives of Human Cadavers" by Mary Roach) and there is this wonderful chapter, "Eat Me", from which I am making this post. It may not be tasteful, given what has happened these few days, but so what! (Life has to go on, and the more happy we are, the more depressed and frustrated the masterminds of terror are going to get. We know you, but you don't know us.

We know you have come and killed many of us. And we know many more of your kind will come and kill many more of us. But don't think we are going to get frightened by the sorts of you- we have seen off much larger fish than you. We will survive, you won't. In our three thousand years of history, you will see people come and people go, but we are always here, our culture is terror-proof.

This is India. You don't know us. So, as President Bush, now likely to be more popular in India than even in Albania, famously said, "Bring 'em on". We are not fazed.)

As the title of this book states, it is all about Corpses and how useful they are. And this chapter is about their supposed health benefits through time.

I did not know that in twelfth century Arabia people prepared and ingested mellified man. Old persons volunteered to mellify themselves, which meant that, they fed exclusively on a diet of honey. The volunteer even takes bath in honey. After a month, he urinates and excretes honey and soon death follows. Now he is placed in a coffin of honey within which he macerates. After a hundred years, the seal is broken open and the confection is ready for use in treatment of broken and wounded limbs, a small amount is taken internally for additional effect. Mellified and mummified men cured not only bruises and contusions, they also prevented the coagulation of blood, palsy, vertigo and flatulency.

It seems that the medicinal properties of mummified men were well recognised, not only in Arabia and China, but all over Europe. For example, Nicolas Le Fevre, in his 'A Compleat Body of Chymistry', praises the therapeutic qualities of mummies made from sudden death victims, such as from sandstorms ("This sudden suffocation doth concentrate the spirits in all the parts by reason of the fear and sudden surprisal which seizes on the travellers"). 

He also gives out a recipe for the preparation of a mummy, the victim should preferably be "a young, lusty man",should he be a redhead, so much the better. The mummy should first be prepared by a surprise attack on the material- through suffocation, hanging or impalement. The recipe for drying, smoking and blending the mummy is provided by Le Fevre (in case you want to know, the ratio is one to three grains of mummy in a mixture of viper's flesh and spirit of wine, but I don't know how you will procure the necessary ingredients).

Here is a materia medica of the human corpse: (mostly collected from The Chinese Materia Media by Li Shih-chen, 1597, and some European sources)

Mind: For insanity, take a snuff of the Spirit of Skull

Head: Dandruff ("best taken from a fat man"); shampooing with hair elixir cures baldness. King Charles himself was a medical man: in his private lab at Whitehall he prepared and distributed 'King Charles Drops' which contained opium and wine in addition to- um... ahem...- human skull.

Mouth: Tartar of teeth relieve wasp bite; spittle of women applied to eyes cure opthalmia; spittle for effect for nightmare due to attack by devils (there were several varieties of spittles: woman spittle, newborn man-child spittle, Imperial saliva- saliva from the royal mouth of the Roman Emperor himself); Saliva has many uses: in the treatment of dog bite, eye infection, and fetid perspiration. Eyeteeth is useful for the treatment of malaria, breast abscess and eruptive smallpox

Ears: Ear wax

Abdomen: Gallstones cure hiccough; tincture of navel is good for sore throat

Urinary Organs: a cupful of urine from the public latrine is the proper medicine for diabetes (better when given secretly); Urine cures jaundice; human urinary sediments counteract bladder stones.

Rectum and Anus: Clear liquid feces cures worms ("the smell will induce insects to crawl out of any of the body orifices and relieve irritation"). Feces could also cure anthrax and plague (according to Nicholas Lemery, member of the Royal Academy of Sciences- he describes the method of preparation: "Take four ounces of human excrement newly made, of ordinary consistency..."); in China, feces were used for everything from epidemic fevers to genital sores in children- they were available in liquid, ash, soup and 'roasted' forms.

Clear liquid feces antidotes the effects of poisonous mushrooms. Feces can also be applied topically in cases of prolapsed uterus. 

Male Sexual Organs: Powdered human penis taken with alcohol is good for epilepsy.

Female Sexual Organs: Old liquified placenta is a cure if your hair stands up without cause. In today's China, fetus is used to treat consumption and asthma, as "Tai Bao Capsules"

Extremities: Human knee dirt; Marrow and oil distilled from human bones ameliorate rheumatism; toe-nails are a sure cure for vomiting

Skin: Sweat, cadaver skin tied around calves prevents cramping, Human fat is good for rheumatism, joint pain and falling-away of limbs (during the seventeeth century Dutch-Spanish war, body snatchers would be pre-empted by army surgeons, who rushed onto the field with their scalpels and buckets in the aftermath of a pitched battle)

Blood: Fresh blood injected into the face cures eczema; blood itself is good for epilepsy, gout, dropsy (fresh blood from the slain gladiators were collected in the Roman Empire; in Eighteenth century France, executioners earned extra money by marketing the blood from the necks of the guillotined vicitms). For leprosy (please avert your eyes), the treatment is to take bath in the blood of virgins, better still, the blood of infants (Pliny wrote, "When leprosy fell upon the princes of Egypt, woe to the people, for in the bathing chambers, tubs were prepared, with human blood for the cure of it). 

Blood was branded and sold as  Woman Butter, Maid's Zenith (menstrual blood fragrant with rosewater), Even material from the brain had its medicinal uses: a recipe for the Spirit of Brain of Man included not only the brain in its entirety with all its membranes, arteries, veins and nerves, but also had peony, black cherries, lavender and lily added for flavor.

There is much more in this chapter, and in this book. The uses of human cadaver are truly wonderful. The author of this book, Mary Roach, deserves praise, accolodate and some sort of prize.