Anger has become a big problem for me, bigger than even my congenital laziness.
Almost every day, there is this rumble of thunder. It is nothing to be proud about, so i want to come out of it.
So I googled Anger Management, and came up with a BBC article (http://www.bbc.co.uk/health/conditions/mental_health/coping_angermanagement3.shtml#resolving_the_issues). It gives us a plan developed by Professor Richard Nelson -Jones. It is called CUDSAIR.
C stands for Confrontation, where you all confront the problem instead of one another, and see what is the point of your anger..
U stands for Understand, which means you understand how each of you are feeling, and grant the right to disagree.
D stands for Define, which is to mark out the area of disagreement.
S stands for Search, where you look for the solutions.
A stands for Agreement, it might be good or bad, it might work or not. But the point is, you see what concessions have been made, applaud it and see what can be done.
I stands for Implementation, of course.
R stands for Review. You let some time pass, and then go back and see if you can do any better this time round.
All this looks proper and earnest, but the point of anger is to hurt and give pain, right?
Unless you are a talkathlete, you are not going to enjoy this way of managing anger, I think.
Anyone have any better idea?
I used to be short tempered and had a bad control on my anger. But when I realised how much I am hurting my close ones with my anger, it hurt me. From there on I started reflecting after each outburst, and validated myself on whether I was right to feel angry? was it right to shout like that? and could I have handled it differently?. It was a conscious effort to understand where I stand. This I think has helped me a great deal. Not that I am all that mellowed today but then I have improved a great deal and hope to improve as the days go by.
ReplyDeleteWe may follow any method but we must make ensure we have the conviction that it will work. I would suggest, ask yourself for the way to control your anger. If you WANT to control anger then you will find the way to control it yourself. Nothing can be better than the self method to control personal habits and behaviors.
expression of anger and its cause belong to two different units of measurement, like weighing sugar with time.
ReplyDeletewithout knowing how to match we safely exert the anger limited by our capacity and strength.
its only the effect of anger that remain long with the cause long forgotten, which is the very basis of stick the teacher uses towards a child. it might forget the cause but not the stick.
Yes, that is the problem. it is not anger that bothers me so much, it is its after-effects.
ReplyDelete