Positive Parenting

This is in continuation of the Parenting post I made yesterday.

I happened to read "Attention Deficit/ Hyperactivity Disorder" by Henryk Holowenko. Considering that all children with problems suffer either from inattention and/or distraction, even without labelling your child, you can use this book.

I don't know how true it is that inattention and distraction are physical complaints. Are they the same like measles and mumps? Because if you are going to go to a doctor and take tablets for inattention and distraction, there has to be some reason for that. Can't you just correct that by talking to him? Are the medicines really necessary?

Some people say it is absolutely necessary. Behaviour modification has no effect on this condition. May be it is true. I don't want to be dogmatic about this.

I had some decent people as friends at schol, but they were no good at studying. If they could have swallowed some pill and scored 90 marks or 95, it is alright. Better than beatings and verbal abuse. They could have had a happy time in school.

Okay.

In this particular book, there is a question, how can you be a positive parent who monitiors, comments and rewards the good and desirable behaviour of your child?

And this is how you you do it:

1. Make praise contingent of behaviour.

2. Praise immediately.

3.Give labelled and specific praise.

4. Give positive praise without qualifiers or sarcasm.

5. Praise with smiles, eye contact and enthusiasm as well as with words.

6. Give pats, hugs and kisses alongwith verbal praise.

7. Catch the child whenever he or she is being good; don't save praise for perfect behaviour only.

8. Use praise consistently whenever you see the positive hehaviour you want to encourage.

9. Praise in front of other children.

These are good suggestions, and I think scientifically proven to be effective. But how many of us have the time and energy for this?

The easier option is to bully the child and call it discipline.